I think days like today are the hardest for me, and I think the same must be true of anyone who lives far from family. I see the posts and the pictures of my nieces and nephews growing up and I'm missing it. My best friend is planning her wedding and as if that wasn't stressful enough, she is dealing with some very stressful family issues, and I can't be there for her. It's so hard to feel so isolated from people I love so much.
I am so thankful for technology that allows me to have pictures and to call and talk to them and hear their voices. That I can get a text with silly pictures of my niece, a phone call with my sister in law and then my niece which lasted an hour and a half, Facebook which allows me to see the growth of the little ones, that are growing and changing so fast. I am writing this with tears in my eyes because I miss my family. My heart aches to hold them in my arms and spoil them rotten.
But then I have to stop and look at the facts of my life. I know that my enemy is pacing around furious at me because I am learning to walk in the freedom that God has set before me. Last week I was able to for the first time share my story for the women at the mission, and I got to pray with them and I believe that God used my story to touch some of their lives. It was so powerful. Then last night I was able to have a 3 hour conversation with a dear friend of mine who needed to hear what has been going on in my life, because she needed hope that the same can happen for her. I was able to love on her because of what I am learning.
The enemy likes to get us focused on the hard parts of our days and the hard days in our lives. And we as humans fall into that trap all to often, because it's easier to focus on the bad things or the things we feel we are missing. And when he can get us focused on those things we forget the glory of our God. We forget the many things that God has added to our lives, things we didn't deserve, but God our FATHER has given them to us because He loves us. So, our choice is what are we going to focus on? Am I going to focus on the fact that my family is far away and I miss them? Or am I going to focus on the good in my life? Like the fact that I have great relationships with my family even though they are far away, that God has given me another family here in New Jersey that has accepted me as their own complete with a couple of young girls that I can spend time with and invest in, and that God has brought me to a new place of freedom that I could never have experienced unless I walked the path He called me to walk.
So tonight as I choose to look at the positives I extend that challenge to you... Are you going to choose to focus on the things you don't have that you desire or are you going to focus on the goodness of our Father? We will not make the right choice all the time, I know I don't, but every time we choose to look upward at our Father and thank Him for the things He has given us, we win a victory over our enemy, and that makes it easier to do again! I challenge you to look at your own heart and your own choices and choose this day whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15)
As always if you need prayer or just to talk reach out to me crucibleandcrown@gmail.com
Monday, March 21, 2016
Friday, March 4, 2016
Time away
My heart is overfull as I sit here in my apartment tonight. I had gone away last week to New Hampshire. I had gone to visit some friends that I had made when they came down here to serve StreetLight. I connected with them instantly, and that connection has grown over the last 2 months. So when they invited me to come up to visit them I accepted.
After a 9 hour, arduous, and somewhat dangerous trip in the pouring rain, I arrived. We stayed up for a while talking and it just felt natural being there. For me this trip really was about getting away, from everything. I enjoy my job, I love New Jersey and I love StreetLight, but I needed to escape all of it for a little while. I had become overwhelmed with all of the responsibility that was washing over me. But it turned into so much more than just a trip away.
We went to an ice castle, we went shopping, we drove around the mountains, they took me out on a frozen lake, and I even stuck my arm in an ice fisherman's hole. There were all these first time experiences for me. Then on the way home, I stopped a few hours away from where I was staying for lunch with another 2 ladies from the team that came to Jersey to visit. It was nice just to sit and eat and laugh, and broke up the trip back!
Thursday evening we went to someone's house for a game night (which was so much fun just as an aside!), and one of the women, Wanda mentioned that she had seen child's boots and coats on clearance at Wal-Mart and that she wished she had the money to buy them for the children we serve at StreetLight. One of the men piped up and said "let's do it. Let's go in the morning. I'll cover it." We set a time and went to Wal-Mart. These 2 lovely people almost cleared out the children's clearance department of boots and coats. We had 4 shopping carts full of coats and boots, which they then loaded into my car. My eyes were full of tears. These family members that I have only known since the middle of December cared so much for me and the Mission that they wanted to give what they could give. They can't do the work for us, but they can come alongside us as partners and provide for us what we don't have.
When I got back to New Jersey, we counted out and there were 47 pairs of shoes and 49 coats. Many of the coats were the coats that have a liner that can be used as a spring or fall jacket and then a heavier layer over it, and they were SOOOO CUTE. Sorry but the girl in me has to show itself! As I stepped back and looked at the enormity of what my friends had done for the Mission that I care so much about I couldn't help but be overwhelmed. I can't help but feel bound to them in a way that transcends human understanding.
And that's really what it is. Our Father God has connected us in a way that I can't comprehend. I spent a day and a half with this team of people and yet God has used them to touch my life in irreversible and unfathomable ways. I have included some pictures from the trip so that you can see a bit of what I experienced. I would encourage each one of you to find those people in your lives that God wants to connect you to, the ones that will get in behind your defenses and alter the course of your life.
As always you can contact me at crucibleandcrown@gmail.com... feel free to look at the pictures I have attached!
After a 9 hour, arduous, and somewhat dangerous trip in the pouring rain, I arrived. We stayed up for a while talking and it just felt natural being there. For me this trip really was about getting away, from everything. I enjoy my job, I love New Jersey and I love StreetLight, but I needed to escape all of it for a little while. I had become overwhelmed with all of the responsibility that was washing over me. But it turned into so much more than just a trip away.
We went to an ice castle, we went shopping, we drove around the mountains, they took me out on a frozen lake, and I even stuck my arm in an ice fisherman's hole. There were all these first time experiences for me. Then on the way home, I stopped a few hours away from where I was staying for lunch with another 2 ladies from the team that came to Jersey to visit. It was nice just to sit and eat and laugh, and broke up the trip back!
Thursday evening we went to someone's house for a game night (which was so much fun just as an aside!), and one of the women, Wanda mentioned that she had seen child's boots and coats on clearance at Wal-Mart and that she wished she had the money to buy them for the children we serve at StreetLight. One of the men piped up and said "let's do it. Let's go in the morning. I'll cover it." We set a time and went to Wal-Mart. These 2 lovely people almost cleared out the children's clearance department of boots and coats. We had 4 shopping carts full of coats and boots, which they then loaded into my car. My eyes were full of tears. These family members that I have only known since the middle of December cared so much for me and the Mission that they wanted to give what they could give. They can't do the work for us, but they can come alongside us as partners and provide for us what we don't have.
When I got back to New Jersey, we counted out and there were 47 pairs of shoes and 49 coats. Many of the coats were the coats that have a liner that can be used as a spring or fall jacket and then a heavier layer over it, and they were SOOOO CUTE. Sorry but the girl in me has to show itself! As I stepped back and looked at the enormity of what my friends had done for the Mission that I care so much about I couldn't help but be overwhelmed. I can't help but feel bound to them in a way that transcends human understanding.
And that's really what it is. Our Father God has connected us in a way that I can't comprehend. I spent a day and a half with this team of people and yet God has used them to touch my life in irreversible and unfathomable ways. I have included some pictures from the trip so that you can see a bit of what I experienced. I would encourage each one of you to find those people in your lives that God wants to connect you to, the ones that will get in behind your defenses and alter the course of your life.
As always you can contact me at crucibleandcrown@gmail.com... feel free to look at the pictures I have attached!
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