Sunday after church a group of us decided we were going to go get some Cuban food. We went in and a number of us ordered Chicharron, but the bakery was out of it. If you have ever had chicharron, you know that once it gets in your head to have some, nothing else will satisfy you! We were left bereft. Someone said "maybe we'll have to buy the stuff and make it at home." I said why don't we all go over to my house and make it there. That's just what we did.
I had 11 people in my apartment. It was amazing!!! We all had such a wonderful time! But as I looked around the group of people I was so thankful to God for the variety. There was a Haitian, a Dominican, a Puerto Rican, a few people that I'm not sure of their background. There were children as young as 3, and adults as old as 40. Then there was me, a white country girl, who is not sure what she's doing here in the middle of the inner city of Elizabeth New Jersey.
Last night, a group of us, some of the same people that were in my apartment with some others mixed in went to a Christian music survey. Just like Sunday, we had a great time! But as we were riding there they were talking about their kids, their backgrounds, their histories, and again, I felt very out of place. Why would God put a girl in the midst of this place who can not relate to these people? What is He thinking? Why am I here?
This morning, I was sitting at my table spending some quiet time with God. I finished my reading, and prayed a little bit. I have started after praying just sitting and waiting on the Lord. Just allowing some time for Him to say what He has to say. It was silent so after a few minutes I gave up. I picked up my phone and was playing on it. Then very clearly in my head I heard Him say "Put away your phone." I ignored it, so again "Put away your phone." This time I listened. Begrudgingly I sat there listening. "Daughter, I love you, but you are so easily distracted. Your head is turned so quickly. I have made you a multitasker, but you try to multitask EVERYTHING! You can't multitask in your relationship with me." I apologized for trying to rush Him, then He said this: "You ask yourself why you are here. You ask why I have placed you in the middle of the inner city, where you feel you have nothing in common with the people around you. But you don't see what I see, you don't see how you affect the people around you. You have things in common with them, but you escaped much of the heartache they have dealt with, because of where they live. You need to seek out those things that you do have in common instead of seeing the things you don't have in common. My heart beats for you just like it beats for you. My love pours out on them just like it does on you. You share many of the same struggles with identity and with following me. Where ever you go, you are to be a light for Me, a light that shines bright, and regardless of you being able to relate to them, I will use you!"
I then saw a video from Jonathan Cahn that so impacted me, and he said some of the same things about being in God's will, and being a light to the people around me. I am going to share the youtube address for it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgYZlPAJHv0
We are not called to do what we think is the right thing, we are called to what God says is the right thing! So I pray daily that as I walk through this crazy life that God has placed before me that He will lead me and that He will strengthen me to be what He wants me to be!
As always if you want more information or need prayer or to talk: crucibleandcrown@gmail.com
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