Changes

I know it's been a while since I wrote, and I'm sorry for that but so much was going on that life felt a bit like a whirlwind! I am going to keep it as brief as possible, but I do want to update everyone on the latest changes in StreetLight Mission.
Most any one who knows me knows that I am a person who doesn't mind changes, some would even say I love changes.  But there is a limit to that, and I have found it, or maybe I should say God pushed me to that limit.  Back in March, it was announced to the staff at the Mission that our focus was changing.  It wasn't a surprise, because all of the us on staff could see that it was time and it was necessary, but we just weren't sure what the direction would look like.
I had written in an earlier post about the carts of brand new coats and boots for children that my friends had bought for the Mission, and on the tail end of that trip to New Hampshire, Paul sat me down and told me that we as a Mission were going to be focusing on at risk youth and families.  No longer are we going to be providing a monthly food pantry, job services, and IDs for adults. All the services that we had been providing were available at multiple other places in the city.  Instead of seeing people's lives changed, which has always been the main goal of the Mission, we had become enablers.
The board of StreetLight, spent much time in prayer and conversation about how exactly the future should look.  They also looked at where exactly the fruit of our labor was being produced, and that was in youth and families.  We have a monthly girl's night that is well attended, VBS that overflows our location, and back in January we took 3 huge vehicles of young ladies to a conference on being "the bride of Christ."
With these things in mind, the leaders decided to focus and pour our resources into those places where we were making a difference, where we were seeing God bringing fruit, as well as expand and start some new things specifically for the young people and their families. I am so excited with the changes, and I firmly believe that the leaders are seeking God and allowing Him to lead the next steps. As with all major changes, there is much learning that is happening. Also much prayer is needed so that the plans of the enemy will fail, and as all of us at the Mission, but especially the leaders seek to honor God with every step, that we will be open to whatever it is that He calls us to do.

One exciting thing that I am glad to be a part of, God has allowed me through my job to partner with StreetLight and provide some school supplies, donated from the college students, for our youth. Pencils, notebooks, paper, and more. It is so exciting to be used in this way to pour into our kids. I have become more involved and even attended a fall retreat with our kids (more to come in my next blog). I can't wait to see how God is going to grow these wonderful young people that I have come to know!  

As always reach out to me if you need anything or want more information crucibleandcrown@gmail.com

Hardest Days

I think days like today are the hardest for me, and I think the same must be true of anyone who lives far from family.  I see the posts and the pictures of my nieces and nephews growing up and I'm missing it.  My best friend is planning her wedding and as if that wasn't stressful enough, she is dealing with some very stressful family issues, and I can't be there for her.  It's so hard to feel so isolated from people I love so much.
I am so thankful for technology that allows me to have pictures and to call and talk to them and hear their voices.  That I can get a text with silly pictures of my niece, a phone call with my sister in law and then my niece which lasted an hour and a half, Facebook which allows me to see the growth of the little ones, that are growing and changing so fast.  I am writing this with tears in my eyes because I miss my family.  My heart aches to hold them in my arms and spoil them rotten.
But then I have to stop and look at the facts of my life.  I know that my enemy is pacing around furious at me because I am learning to walk in the freedom that God has set before me.  Last week I was able to for the first time share my story for the women at the mission, and I got to pray with them and I believe that God used my story to touch some of their lives.  It was so powerful. Then last night I was able to have a 3 hour conversation with a dear friend of mine who needed to hear what has been going on in my life, because she needed hope that the same can happen for her.  I was able to love on her because of what I am learning.
The enemy likes to get us focused on the hard parts of our days and the hard days in our lives.  And we as humans fall into that trap all to often, because it's easier to focus on the bad things or the things we feel we are missing.  And when he can get us focused on those things we forget the glory of our God.  We forget the many things that God has added to our lives, things we didn't deserve, but God our FATHER has given them to us because He loves us.  So, our choice is what are we going to focus on?  Am I going to focus on the fact that my family is far away and I miss them?  Or am I going to focus on the good in my life?  Like the fact that I have great relationships with my family even though they are far away, that God has given me another family here in New Jersey that has accepted me as their own complete with a couple of young girls that I can spend time with and invest in, and that God has brought me to a new place of freedom that I could never have experienced unless I walked the path He called me to walk.
So tonight as I choose to look at the positives I extend that challenge to you... Are you going to choose to focus on the things you don't have that you desire or are you going to focus on the goodness of our Father?  We will not make the right choice all the time, I know I don't, but every time we choose to look upward at our Father and thank Him for the things He has given us, we win a victory over our enemy, and that makes it easier to do again!  I challenge you to look at your own heart and your own choices and choose this day whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15)

As always if you need prayer or just to talk reach out to me crucibleandcrown@gmail.com

Time away

My heart is overfull as I sit here in my apartment tonight.  I had gone away last week to New Hampshire.  I had gone to visit some friends that I had made when they came down here to serve StreetLight.  I connected with them instantly, and that connection has grown over the last 2 months. So when they invited me to come up to visit them I accepted.
After a 9 hour, arduous, and somewhat dangerous trip in the pouring rain, I arrived.  We stayed up for a while talking and it just felt natural being there.  For me this trip really was about getting away, from everything.  I enjoy my job, I love New Jersey and I love StreetLight, but I needed to escape all of it for a little while.  I had become overwhelmed with all of the responsibility that was washing over me.  But it turned into so much more than just a trip away.
We went to an ice castle, we went shopping, we drove around the mountains, they took me out on a frozen lake, and I even stuck my arm in an ice fisherman's hole. There were all these first time experiences for me.  Then on the way home, I stopped a few hours away from where I was staying for lunch with another 2 ladies from the team that came to Jersey to visit.  It was nice just to sit and eat and laugh, and broke up the trip back!
Thursday evening we went to someone's house for a game night (which was so much fun just as an aside!), and one of the women, Wanda mentioned that she had seen child's boots and coats on clearance at Wal-Mart and that she wished she had the money to buy them for the children we serve at StreetLight.  One of the men piped up and said "let's do it.  Let's go in the morning.  I'll cover it."  We set a time and went to Wal-Mart.  These 2 lovely people almost cleared out the children's clearance department of boots and coats.  We had 4 shopping carts full of coats and boots, which they then loaded into my car.  My eyes were full of tears.  These family members that I have only known since the middle of December cared so much for me and the Mission that they wanted to give what they could give.  They can't do the work for us, but they can come alongside us as partners and provide for us what we don't have.
When I got back to New Jersey, we counted out and there were 47 pairs of shoes and 49 coats.  Many of the coats were the coats that have a liner that can be used as a spring or fall jacket and then a heavier layer over it, and they were SOOOO CUTE.  Sorry but the girl in me has to show itself!  As I stepped back and looked at the enormity of what my friends had done for the Mission that I care so much about I couldn't help but be overwhelmed.  I can't help but feel bound to them in a way that transcends human understanding.
And that's really what it is.  Our Father God has connected us in a way that I can't comprehend.  I spent a day and a half with this team of people and yet God has used them to touch my life in irreversible and unfathomable ways.  I have included some pictures from the trip so that you can see a bit of what I experienced.  I would encourage each one of you to find those people in your lives that God wants to connect you to, the ones that will get in behind your defenses and alter the course of your life.
As always you can contact me at crucibleandcrown@gmail.com... feel free to look at the pictures I have attached!

Snow makes everything better

I know it's been a while since I've written, life has been a little crazy lately.  I also know that some people on my Facebook will staunchly disagree with the title of this blog, and to that I say let's agree to disagree.  Our total ended up around 28 inches, which was about 10 inches more than they predicted, but I really want to tell you about a journey I took today.

I woke up needing to get out of my apartment, and so I decided to take a walk.  This journey that I was embarking on was to return the dvds that I had rented from redbox, or at least so I thought.  But now looking back I believe that the journey was to see a whole different side of this city that I have come to know and love.
There are a number of things that people dislike about New Jersey, and people from New Jersey, and in many cases the stereotypes are true.  People are rude and unfriendly, they use their horns WAY too much, and it is a dirty place.  All three of these things I was just complaining to a friend about on Friday.  But let me explain how the snow transformed this place.  I walked out of my building and there were more people outside on my block than I have ever seen.  Some were walking like I, but most were digging out their cars.  I was amazed to hear the sound of talking and laughing.  As I looked around every person who was shoveling had sweat on their forehead and a smile on their face. I began to notice that not only were they laughing but people were helping each other.  There were Arab men helping Haitian women, and Hispanics helping a older black lady who wasn't able to dig herself out.  People who didn't even speak the same language were pitching in and helping each other. It was a beautiful sight!  Not once in the hour I was out and about did I hear a cross word from anyone!!
The second thing I noticed was the relative silence.  People weren't honking their horns.  They were driving and allowing people to go in front of them, they were sharing the right of way like normal human beings from any other part of the country.  I saw not one cross look as people had to wait for another car to come through, I saw people waving cars to go in front of them, which hardly ever happens here in Jersey, especially here in Elizabeth.
The third and last thing I noticed is that everything looked so beautiful and clean and white.  The snow covered over the blemishes that are so prevalent in this city.  Everywhere I looked was a white blanket draped over Elizabeth.  It was overwhelming to look around and see.  And then to see the faces of the people of this city whom I have come here to serve walking around with smiles and interacting with others was almost more than I could fathom.  It showed me what could be here in Elizabeth.
Actually one of the most incredible things that I saw was when I was near the Red Box.  There's a church on the same road as the Walgreens, and there were some men shoveling off the steps of this church.  They were talking to a neighbor, who was struggling with his snow, and the whole group of men laughingly came over and dug out this man's car.  There was no reward, there was no begrudging, it was done out of a heart of servitude.  They were then talking with the man as they went back to shoveling the walk of the church.  Now I couldn't understand a word they were saying, but watching the man's face transform as he watched the work get done and then began to chat with the ones that had helped him was moving.  May all of us inside the Church be so focused on serving!
What's my point?  I don't know that I have one specifically, but this is just another snap shot into my life.  If you think of it, pray for me, and us at the Mission.  Pray for wisdom as God moves us forward, that we will constantly seek Him before anything else!

As always you are welcome to reach out to me!  Crucibleandcrown@gmail.com